Featured on @StorylineReddit: November 17, 2025
They were on the couch the way they always are. Wrestling on the TV, takeout containers somewhere nearby, shoulders almost touching. She starts crying. He puts his arm around her. That part is familiar. She has come to him in the middle of the night before. He has always made room.
The shift doesn’t arrive with drama. It slips in through a joke.
Some relationships don’t ignite; they accumulate. Shared leases. Shared mornings. The same default person when something goes wrong. For years, they built a life in parallel without naming it. It worked. It felt stable. No one had to define anything.
Then one sentence changes the temperature in the room, and suddenly the past rearranges itself. The risk isn’t really about sex. It’s about saying what this has been.
This story hinges on a mismatch between lived reality and spoken agreement. Two people construct a deeply intertwined adult life emotionally, practically, geographically while maintaining the language of friendship. They date others without much traction, but their primary loyalty remains with each other.
When physical intimacy enters, it doesn’t create chaos so much as clarity. What changes is not the daily rhythm but the awareness of it. He experiences the shift as revelation, almost a retrospective re-editing of his own history. She appears less surprised.
The tension builds in the space between action and articulation. They continue sleeping together. They delay the defining conversation. The apartment, the routines, the ease none of that disappears. The instability comes from the possibility that naming the bond could either solidify it or strain the very foundation that made it safe for so long.
Text Version
I [32M] have been sleeping with my best friend [32F] and for 2 weeks and I think we’ve been dating for 10 years and never realized it
CONCLUDED
I am not The OOP, OOP is u/sleptwithfriend
I [32M] have been sleeping with my best friend [32F] and for 2 weeks and I think we’ve been dating for 10 years and never realized it.
Original Post – rareddit Aug 11, 2016
So me and “Sophie” have been best friends since like the 1st grade. She was my next door neighbor growing up, we went to the same college, and got jobs in the same city. And we’ve been room mates since we were like 25.
So typing this it almost seems like we’ve been a couple all along. But I’ve never really thought of her sexually since we were teenagers. She had a boyfriend at like 17 and they were really in love with each other and I was good friends with him, but unfortunately he drowned like a week after we graduated high school. She was obviously a wreck and I helped her as much as I could get through it, and in the process we pretty much became inseparable.
It’s not like one of us was clinging to the other, it was completely mutual, we like the same things, have the same interests and did stuff together all the time. When she was having a hard time sleeping because of Rick’s drowning she’d ask to come over because she didnt want to be alone and I of course was there for her. Eventually we graduated college and decided to get jobs in the same city, and eventually after that we decided to move in together as room mates because we save a ton of money and we were always hanging out together anyway.
Now I realize, that basically, I think we’ve been a couple except we just didn’t have sex. Of course she would have a guy over sometimes but it was never really serious and same with me, I dated a bit but never really felt a connection with any of them.
So about 2 weeks ago we were watching wrestling (like we do every week) and she started softly crying and were sitting like inches from each other on the couch so of course I put my arm around her and ask if she’s ok and if she needs to talk. Basically, she’s been having a hard time finding a guy and she’s really upset. She’s always been kind of thick, but now she’s pretty chubby and says that attractive guys don’t want to sleep with her anymore.
So I’m trying to be supportive and stuff, and I wasn’t lying, I’ve always thought she was really pretty, but I said that’s not true and that plenty of guys would love to sleep with her. She’s not a prude or anything and we always make crude jokes to each other and I said something like “If weren’t like the best best friends ever I’d have been trying to fuck you for the passed 10 years”.
She gave me this look like I had just flipped a switch on robot like she was just staring right into my eyes and my brain is telling me to kiss her and so I did. We were making out for probably 5 minutes and she had pulled my shirt off and I had pulled hers off, and then I’m think oh my god what am I doing.
So I stopped and I’m like woah we need to think about this, are we sure we want to go down this road? We talk for like 2 minutes and we basically decide “hey, we’ve been friends for 25 years, and been through way worse together that having sex one time shouldn’t be an issue”
It was by far the best sex I ever had. And now since that time we’ve had sex at least once every day. sometimes two or three times. We both recognize we need to discuss this but keep saying we’ll discuss it tomorrow when we’ll have more time. But I recognize we have to discuss it. Like soon. And I’m scared. I think I’ve realized that I’ve been madly in love with her this entire time. And that’s why I never connected with any of the women I dated. And I’m really hoping it’s the same for her. I think we might bother have felt this way for a long time and were finally realizing it. It just sounds so fucking crazy. Like what the fuck is going on. Am I crazy? Am I getting my hopes up? If she doesn’t feel the same way I do, how can I ever hang out with her again. What do I do?
tldr; I slept with my best friend of 25 years, and now realize I’m crazy in love with her and probably have been for 10 years, and I’m afraid that maybe she doesn’t feel this way as well.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
bayleeblue22
I think she’s into you, otherwise she probably wouldn’t have slept with you multiple times. I suggest that you start taking her out on real dates, if she agrees and is receptive to cuddling and holding hands, she’s def into you. And whenever you feel is the right timing, you can tell her what’s in your heart and how you feel about her.
OOP
I mean like we always cuddle on the couch and in college when she would come to my dorm because she couldn’t sleep we’d sleep in my bed together just nothing sexual happened, I’m starting to think she’s spent 15 years trying to give me hints now
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Area_Woman
I agree with OP – take her on actual dates. Allow yourselves to feel some of those early relationship jitters and awkwardness as you embark on a new type of relationship together
OOP
I’m going to and we go on dates all the time I just didn’t realize they were dates. Like dinner together, lunch, museums. I think we should plan a vacation together, with a king bed instead of twin beds lol
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wonderlanders
This is adorable. It sounds like you guys are basically in the perfect position for this to happen.
Are you worried expectations will change if you become an official couple? Maybe pick an evening once a week to do a serious check in with eachother, where you each have an open floor to bring up any concerns or thoughts you’ve had about this shift in your relationship.
And have fun!! I bet all your friends are gonna be like “Geez guys, FINALLY!”
OOP
Both of our parents are always joking with us about when are we gonna give them grand kids but both of us are firmly child-free so we always use that defense and don’t stress that we aren’t a couple. I think I really am the only one who didn’t realize I’m in love with her. I feel like an idiot
Edit: I just got home from work, she gets home in a bit, I think I’m just going to sit her down and lay it all out there. I’m so stressed out by not knowing.
OOP Updated the Next Day Aug 12, 2016
Edit 2 with Update:
So she got home and I told her we need to talk and she seemed disappointed. So I was really bummed. Like she looked like she wanted to cry. But I said please just let me say what I need to say and then we can go from there.
I told her that since we had started having sex I’ve realized I’d been in love with her for a really long time and didn’t realize it. And she started trying to hold back tears and I got the worst knot in my stomach and thought I was literally going to puke. I told her it’s ok if she doesn’t feel the same I would always be there for her as a friend and would try my best to not let my feelings get in the way but now that it’s out there I guess there isn’t any going back. She told me to stop and she was crying now.
I stopped and it felt like an eternity just sitting there I couldn’t even look her in the face. Then she just kind of wrapped her arms around me and buried her face in my chest and was sobbing. I’m just sitting there confused trying to figure out if this good or horrible.
Finally she looks up at me and says she’s been waiting for me to say that since college. And that the reason she was crying with me on the couch the other week was because she thought it had been long enough and it wasn’t going to happen and that’s why she kept trying to put off having a talk after we started having sex because she thought that was the closest we’d come to being a couple. Now we are waiting for our Chinese food to come after some awesome sex! Thanks so much for the advice and getting me to finally say something.
Source
For years, their life followed a pattern. Same city. Same apartment. Same couch. She couldn’t sleep, she came to his room. They lay side by side. Nothing sexual happened. In college, they shared beds. In adulthood, they shared rent. They went to dinner, to museums, to lunch. They joked crudely with each other. They dated other people and came home to each other afterward.
On that couch, she cries because she feels unwanted. He reassures her. He makes a half-joking comment about having wanted her for years. She looks at him differently. He kisses her. They kiss for five minutes. Shirts come off. He stops and asks if they should think about this. They talk for two minutes. They decide they can handle it.
After that, it escalates quickly. Daily sex. Sometimes more. “We’ll talk tomorrow.” Tomorrow comes and goes. They go to work. They come home. They touch each other again.
He narrates the change as sudden understanding. A realization that explains why other relationships never fully landed. From his side, the fear is immediate and sharp: if she doesn’t love him back, he risks losing the person who has been constant for decades.
Her position feels quieter but heavier. When he finally says the words admits he has been in love for years she cries again. Not because she is blindsided. Because she has been waiting since college. She had already measured the distance and decided not to push it.
There’s an imbalance in timing. He feels late. She feels relieved.
They confess. They order Chinese food. They have sex again. The room is the same room it has always been.
Naming something shifts it. Even if everything else looks untouched.
