Featured on @StorylineReddit: May 6, 2026
Sometimes workplace conflicts don’t begin with a dramatic confrontation or a major policy dispute. They begin with something small and administrative: someone already has vacation approved. In theory that should settle the question. In practice, small teams with rigid coverage rules tend to turn ordinary scheduling issues into something heavier than anyone expected.
In this story, a kiosk manager had planned time off months earlier to line up with her boyfriend’s academic break. Later, her assistant requested the exact same dates for a wedding. That overlap alone might have produced an awkward conversation and some negotiation.
The moment that changed the tone happened on the sales floor. Management approached the manager and congratulated her for agreeing to move her vacation. According to her, she had never said that.
And suddenly the situation isn’t just about calendars anymore. It’s about how a workplace decides what counts as an agreement once several people think they already know the answer.
The central tension doesn’t really hinge on which personal event carries more weight. The pressure comes from the structure of the workplace itself. The kiosk requires that either the manager or the assistant be present at all times, which makes overlapping vacation effectively impossible. Once one person’s time off is approved, the other person’s options narrow immediately.
Situations like that usually lead to negotiation or compromise. Here, the conflict took a different turn when the assistant allegedly told management that the manager had already agreed to move her trip. Management then approached the manager publicly and thanked her for being flexible.
That moment reframed the situation before she could respond.
From there the argument shifted away from scheduling and toward credibility. The manager pushed back hard, insisting she had never approved the change and warning that approving the assistant’s request could lead to escalation through corporate channels or the union.
The disagreement that followed isn’t just about dates on a calendar anymore. It touches authority, past frustrations about attendance, and the practical question of who actually has the final say when two roles depend on each other to keep a small operation running.
Text Version
AITAH for telling my assistant she can’t have her vacation?
ONGOING
I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Honest_Kick_5400
Originally posted to r/AITAH
AITAH for telling my assistant she can’t have her vacation?
Trigger Warnings: hostile workplace, entitlement
Editor’s note: the body texts for both original and update posts have been saved before they were removed
Original Post: October 18, 2025
The title sounds rough but hear me out on this.
I (31F) have been managing a little Starbucks kiosk in my store for a little over a year now and in that had nothing but struggles, mainly with my assistant. We’ll call her Betty.
When Betty first got hired on, she made a deal with the old manager that she absolutely needs Thursdays and Fridays off but never gave a legitimate reason why she needs those days off in her interview. (At the time, I was the bookkeeper so I heard her entire interview as the bookkeeping office and store office is side by side with each other.) Our old manager granted that to her but it never turned into a written agreement. That was over two years ago. Betty calls out sick twice a month after her weekend claiming she has the flu or food poisoning but comes back the next day like nothing ever happened and takes four 10 day vacations a year. Is that stressful on me? Yes, but I’ve always managed to get through it. However, when I’m sick (which is rare – I have to feel like I’m dying to call out), she refuses to cover me or anyone else even though I’ve covered for her countless times working doubles when she calls out. Betty is always ready at the minute her shift ends to leave whether someone is here or not for coverage and leaves me high and dry.
I normally don’t care about someone taking vacation as that is part of our compensation. I put my vacations in as soon as my vacation renews so there’s no need to fight over it. One of them includes my one year anniversary with my boyfriend right after New Year’s. Betty came up to me two days ago and said that she talked to our ASM about getting January 2nd through the 10th off for a wedding she has been talking endlessly about. I get the excitement but I told her, “Unfortunately, that’s not going to work because I have January 2nd through the 6th off as January 2nd is my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and I won’t be on this side of the state. One of us has to be here.” Betty looked at me shocked and said, “Well can you change the time you go out of town? We already put the deposit on the venue.” I looked at Betty and said, “This is why I have the planner for us to put our vacations in so we know when either of us is gone and there’s no overlapping issues. I’ve had this time off approved since the end of July and I’m not willing to change it or give you my planned vacation time that works for my boyfriend and I before he begins his next quarter of school.” I could tell that Betty was furious and all I got was, “We’ll see about that.”
Betty went up to management today and lied to them saying that I agreed to change my vacation in January so she could get married. Management came up to me on the sales floor in front of her and said it was generous of me to change my vacation for her life plans. I WAS PISSED. I turned to Betty and said, “What on God’s green earth made you think it was a good idea to lie to management? I never have stopped you from taking a vacation in the past nor did anyone else here. But I told you I’m unwilling to change my anniversary trip to another weekend so you can get married. I’m sorry you’ll be losing money but you have to pick a different day.” This is where I turned to management and told them, “If you still approve this, not only will I go to corporate and the union and complain but you’ll be looking for a new manager for this department. I will not be treated this way for one person to get whatever she wants.”
Betty was infuriated with my response to the point where I saw her starting to cry as she said she needed a minute. A slight part of me feels bad for blowing up but in this situation, she only did it to herself.
AITAH?
AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was NTA
Relevant Comments
Commenter 1: NTA. She doesn’t get to lie to management to get her way. You claimed the days first. Be aware — she’s likely going to try to sabotage. You and your manager need a plan ready to go if she quits right before or just doesn’t show up. If you’re caught unaware, it’s 100% on you guys.
What country are you in that she gets this much PTO? Four 10-day vacations??
I have zero problem with her getting Thursdays and Fridays off — like it or not, that was agreed to when she was hired. I also have no problem with her not picking up extra shifts. That is NOT required. She doesn’t have to be a “team player;” this not a “family.” It’s a job.
Calling in sick on a predictable basis IS a problem — and should be HEAVILY documented. Explain the issue to your direct manager and to HR. Ask them how you can handle it because it’s not all right.
Track ALL of her call outs with details about when (relative to the shift) she called out, who was available to cover, what her excuse was, when it happened relative to her other days off, if it was on a holiday or especially busy period, etc. If you have access to her social media, see if she’s posting pics on those days — or pics of partying the night before. Build a detailed file.
OOP: I live in the US and how it works with my company is the first 10 years in the company, you only get 90 hours of PTO. Between 10 and 12 years, you get 100 hours. 12 to 14 years, you get 160. 15 and above, you get 200. Allotted PTO is based off of how long you’ve worked for the company. I just hit 12 years in July, so I’m at the 160 hour mark. Betty has been with the company for 3 years so she only gets 90 hours PTO and the rest is UTO which employees don’t get reprimanded for as it’s a requested day off.
I do have a year’s record of her call outs but not just her, everybody. Including myself. I didn’t want anyone to feel targeted and I make sure that everyone knows I keep track of this stuff including me. I have presented her attendance issue not just to upper management but to both DMs on the company’s side and Starbucks (since I deal with both). They have spoken to my manager and nothing has happened. At this point, it’s on him.
I do also have the morning crew alert me if she called out and I come in sooner as the department is my responsibility to keep it up and running.
Another thing I forgot to add in, agreements that are not written with previous management are null and void when new management steps in in my company. But Betty goes to the union each time something doesn’t go her way, forcing management to roll on their backs.
OOP responds to a downvoted comment about when she got hired at the company at a such young age
OOP: I’m 31 and got hired right before I turned 19. Technical and community colleges accept people well beyond 18 for education in the US.
OOP explains what happens if she and Betty can’t be off at the same time even if it’s for a few days
OOP: If the main manager is out, the assistant needs to be present. Vice versa. Basically, a manager needs to be present each day regardless how it works out.
Commenter 2: Betty is an entitled brat but you could have picked a fight with her on any other time that wasn’t her wedding.
OOP: I understand your point. The wedding just came up within the last week months after I had the time off approved. My boyfriend is in school and this is during his vacation. It would be one thing if I could pick a different weekend with my boyfriend even with major holidays being a blackout period but to lie to management to take my vacation time after it was approved months ago is not okay with me. I won’t roll on my back for that.
Commenter 3: NTA – why is Betty still employed there?
OOP: We’re a union so it’s very difficult to fire someone.
Can OOP go to the union and report Betty since she lied to the management?
OOP: I have talked to my ASM (editor’s note: assistant store manager) about her attendance issues and there has already been a problem with Betty going to corporate and making a false accusation on HR. Nothing has been done on their end. I can only make so many suggestions to them about having a documented conversation when they don’t seem interest.
We are a licensed store. Not a franchise. So we are technically employees under the other company in the partnership (Kroger company) and union.
It’s very hard to just fire people in a union. There has to be damning reason and fighting for time off that was approved months ago for a last second notice is not grounds for termination. Dishonesty is but they don’t do anything about it.
Commenter 4: It doesn’t sound like Betty is doing anything out with her rights on any of your background info. You’re the manager, if there’s no coverage at the end of her shift that is a YOU problem. It sounds like you need to hire another person.
OOP: I understand your point. We are a partnership kiosk, not an actual franchise store. I already work six days a week and can’t work a seventh. That’s part of our union contract. If it happens on my day off, Betty is in charge so it becomes her responsibility to find coverage much like how it is my responsibility to do the same when she calls out. That much I understand but I tend to work doubles since my closers can’t come in early due to school interference. I wish I was a part of the hiring process but HR leaves department managers out of that
OOP clarifies on the pay cut for her position
OOP: I actually didn’t take a pay cut for this position. I was under the impression that I was going to get a raise for being in a manager position but they took that away so I kept my current pay and the tips make up for it.
I developed the habit of tracking things very early on in life so this is just natural habit at this point. When I was the bookkeeper, management also wanted me in three other departments helping out and I got to a point where I just wanted something stable and reliable for work and this was my ticket.
Has OOP spoke with the proper district managers of her company about the situation with Betty and the days off?
OOP: I have already spoken to Starbucks DM and my company (Kroger) DM about her in one of my planning visits. I didn’t have to mention her work ethic as they already knew about it but I did mention and present how often she calls out, stating that her attendance is a liability. I know it was put in an email because I have it printed out in a file in my locker with my boss CC’d in it but nothing on his end was done about it.
As far as her days off go, that was the least of my issues with her because I have a set day off each week. However, we’re going through some scheduling changes to where Thursdays and Fridays off for Betty is not doable for business purposes. I even had to change my day off which I was fine with. There’s a couple problems with the Thursday Friday weekend for Betty now. 1.) Not doable for business purposes. 2.) That was a non written agreement under different management so that agreement is now null and void. Our current manager doesn’t need to honor that. 3.) She’s pulling everything she can to get her way. Even if it means calling the union.
Update: November 18, 2025 (one month later)
AITAH for telling my assistant she can’t have her vacation? UPDATE
Okay, so the original has been posted a month ago and while plenty of people wanted updates, I waited for more to unfold.
For a recap, my assistant, Betty, asked me to reschedule my one year anniversary trip with my boyfriend so she could have her wedding to which I declined. Then, Betty went to management and lied saying I would do it for her only for it to blow up in her face.
One thing I forgot to add in the original is that I keep a planner in the department not just for important things coming up like a launch or sale dates but so Betty and I can put in our vacation and work around each other so no vacation overlaps due to previous problems last year. And yes, Betty is fully aware that this exists. I not only put my vacation time off in the system but the planner as well as soon as my vacation hours renew (all vacations six months to a year in advance) so there’s no question of it.
Fast forward to today, Betty did it again.
I was flipping through the planner so for the coming months, I knew what to expect and have a plan weeks in advance of important dates. I knew Betty scheduled her wedding date but didn’t know when. I only had the hint that it would fall towards the end of May to early June (in a local park you can rent part of for the day…no shaming but I know that dates can be switched easier than an actual venue) which works for me as I will be around. For the last four months, I have been pretty vocal with my plans the week of the 21st through the 27th of June as my boyfriend and I will be going to Yellowstone as an End Of School Year/Summer Kick Off vacation. When I saw the month of June, I noticed she wrote in her wedding day falls on the start of my vacation.
Three days ago, Betty looked at me and said, “I know you’re excited about going to Yellowstone in June and you’ve been planning it since the end of March but I was hoping you would do me a favor and push your trip back so I could have my wedding day. I scheduled it for the 21st.”
I looked at her in disbelief because apparently, she didn’t get the hint the first time. Yes, I did have to gather my thoughts because it’s clear to me she is doing this on purpose at this point.
I calmly told her, “No. We have been down this road and I’m not rescheduling anything I’ve had planned and approved on work’s end for months because you planned poorly. I’ll also remind you that we have a planner for these reasons – to schedule around each other’s vacations so nothing overlaps. We are both in leadership roles so when one of us is on vacation, the other has to be here.”
Betty stayed silent and I saw her face turn red. But instead of giving her the opportunity to lie to management again, I went up and said something. I showed my boss the planner and our system and that this is a problem she doesn’t see. I made it clear, “Even though it shows one day, expect her to call out the next day or two. I will be in Wyoming and not willing to change anything as this trip is half of my boyfriend’s big Christmas present.” Management confirmed that her day off has not been approved and she will need to rearrange the day as I got approved first.
Betty did look like she wanted to cry because she is not getting the princess treatment she wants but she also doesn’t realize that other people have lives too. I do fully expect her to call out and leave the department high and dry like she has done MANY times in the past, especially while I’m gone. We will see what happens.
Relevant Comments
Commenter: What kind of person books a venue for a day that they know they have to work?
OOP: A local park. She does because we all know she’s going to call out but what she should know since she’s called the union so many times making false accusations is that if she calls out on a denied request then that’s grounds for termination.
Source
Small workplaces often operate inside tight structural limits that aren’t obvious from the outside. In this case, the rule that either the manager or the assistant must be present creates a narrow window for vacation. Once one person schedules time away, the other person’s calendar is largely fixed for that period.
From the manager’s point of view, the wedding request arrived on top of a pattern she already found frustrating. She describes frequent call-outs and last-minute coverage problems. Whether that pattern is as severe as it feels to her is difficult to know from one side of the story, but it shapes how the January request lands. What might otherwise feel like a simple conflict starts to look like another instance where she expects to absorb the consequences.
Then the sales-floor moment happens.
Management approaches, thanks her for changing her vacation, and moves on as if the matter is already settled. The assistant is standing nearby. The manager immediately turns to her and asks why she told them that. Voices rise. The assistant becomes visibly upset and steps away from the counter area.
The scene itself is straightforward: three people, a misunderstanding already treated as fact, and a correction delivered in front of everyone.
From the assistant’s perspective, the situation might feel very different. Weddings come with fixed dates, deposits, guests traveling from different places. If she believed the conversation was still open or expected management to ultimately decide anyway bringing the issue to them may have seemed like the practical step.
But once the interaction happened publicly, the conflict hardened. The manager framed it as dishonesty and authority being challenged. The assistant appeared to frame it around the importance of the event itself.
After that point the argument begins orbiting a quieter question: whose version of the conversation becomes the one the workplace accepts as real.
And in small teams with rigid coverage rules, those questions tend to linger longer than the scheduling problem that started them.