Featured on @StorylineReddit: November 23, 2025
The evening was ordinary until it wasn’t. A long workday. A house that needed to be immaculate. Dinner waiting on a table set for two. Stress moving quietly through the room.
For years, she had known him as steady. Calm, measured, not prone to drama. Promotions bring pressure; long hours narrow patience. That part feels almost predictable. What unsettles this story is not that he was tired it’s where that tiredness traveled once it had nowhere else to go.
The conflict begins with dishes and expectations. It pivots on a sound from another room a yelp, sudden and sharp. After that, the argument is no longer about chores. Something shifts. Not loudly at first. Just enough to make the air feel different.
There are moments in relationships when the future rearranges itself in silence. Not because of a drawn-out pattern carefully mapped, but because one scene refuses to sit neatly beside everything that came before it.
The dynamic moves from imbalance to exposure. His promotion increases his hours; she compensates without formal discussion more cleaning, more cooking, fewer complaints. Over time, this arrangement hardens. Accommodation becomes baseline. When she asks for recognition of her own fatigue, he does not negotiate; he counters with contempt.
The pivotal rupture is not just the argument but the redirection of anger onto the dog, followed by an attempt to frame the injury as the dog’s aggression. Once challenged, he escalates to ultimatum: the dog or him. Later, apologies flood in urgent, insistent, sweeping but attached to emotional leverage.
The restaurant meeting confirms what the earlier moment introduced. Remorse shifts quickly when she remains firm. Pleading turns to threat. Public composure fractures. The oscillation becomes the defining feature of the breakup.
What alters most is her perception. Stress may have amplified his behavior, but it did not invent the way he reacted when control slipped. Whether that reaction was newly born or long present is left unsettled.
Text Version
My [24] fiance [31 M] of 3.5 years snapped yesterday and attacked our dog. Re-thinking the wedding
CONCLUDED
I am not The OOP, OOP is u/dogandhubbythrow__
My [24] fiance [31 M] of 3.5 years snapped yesterday and attacked our dog. Re-thinking the wedding.
TRIGGER WARNING: animal abuse, verbal abuse, domestic abuse, threats of suicide, gaslighting, manipulation
MOOD SPOILER: sad, scary, enraging. But ultimately hopeful
Original Post July 20, 2015
Before I begin I know the title makes him out to be a monster but he’s honestly not. I’ve never ever seen this side to him in all the time I’ve known him (together 2 years, engaged 1.5 years). He’s always been such a calm, level-headed person, I know what he did was wrong but I’m just wondering if there’s any chance of a recovery from this or if it’s well and truly over. We got a dog [Fluff] a Old English Bulldog in April last year and I love her, I thought my fiance did too.
My fiance [Harry] got promoted last month and he’s been very stressed, he’s been working 8 am – 7 pm and he’s exhausted most nights. I picked up on this and started to clean everything and make food for when he’d be home (even though I’d just worked a 9 am – 5 pm myself). I understand he’s tired and stressed but now this treatment has become expected. I literally wake up at 9, go to work, walk three miles back home, get home for 5:35 pm, walk the dog, clean the house and make dinner. If the house isn’t immaculate he’ll get all huffy and ignore me and Fluff (sort of it’s weird).
When he got home after waiting for him to eat I tried to reason with him saying I didn’t always have the time to clean and cook every day, I get tired too. My fiance immediately got on the defensive, said a lot of hurtful things (too lazy to clean, too stupid to work a better job etc). I told him I’d had enough of his bad attitude and I’d like some time alone. He literally screamed “FINE!” and stormed off out of the living room. It’s at this point I heard a yelp and then my fiance shouting “PIECE OF SHIT MUTT” and immediately ran into the source only to find Fluff cowering in the corner with her mouth bleeding and my fiance’s got a massive bleeding gash in his leg. He first tried to make out that Fluff just attacked him but I knew she’d never just attack someone like that, after some prodding he admitted to kicking the dog in anger and she then proceeded to bite him.
I lost my cool at this point and I’m not proud of it but I called him an asshole and continued to berate him for hurting Fluff and asking what the fuck he expected to come from kicking her. He was already pissed and started screaming at me too, eventually he left to go to A&E.
Later in the night I got a text asking saying that if I wanted him to come back, the dog had to go. I told him there was no way I was getting rid of Fluff and that he was in the wrong. He then sent me an all caps text telling me how I’d be nothing without him and if I was really going to throw all us away over a ‘mutt’ then he’s better off without me.
I didn’t even respond to that, I woke up this morning to have had my phone flooded with texts and missed calls apologising and promising this that and the other. At this point I don’t even know what I want. I’ve cleaned up Fluff’s mouth as much as I could (she wouldn’t even let me near her for a couple hours) and I am taking her to the vet today to see if there’s any further damage. I’m just so disappointed and shocked at his behavior, I don’t know if I can get over this.
tl;dr Fiance attacked our dog, insulted me and is now remorseful but I don’t know if I can get over this.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
drunkerclunker
“(together 2 years, engaged 1.5 years)”
What would you do if this happened after a month? Two months? Six months? One year?
Fact is, 2 years is about the right amount of time for someone to start showing you their true colors. If an asshole shows their asshole colors too soon, they’ll always be a single asshole.
“My fiance immediately got on the defensive, said a lot of hurtful things (too lazy to clean, too stupid to work a better job etc).”
He is showing you who he really is. Believe him.
OOP
Thank you, I’ll be messaging him later for a talk. I’m planning on breaking up with him. I’m planning on doing it in a restaurant/in a public setting because, frankly, I don’t know what this man is capable of anymore. Is there any other steps I should be taking?
[UPDATE] Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this post and advice. Taking it all into account I’m going to the restaurant now, I’ve called up the manager ahead of time and told her to be wary of any raised voices/aggressive behavior. She’s told me she will ask the waiters/waitresses to keep an eye out. Also, luckily Fluff was physically fine, I told the vet about how it happened and she suggested I keep my fiance away from Fluff, I told her I planned to.
Update July 21, 2015 (Next Day)
I’m posting an update for anyone who cared to know what happened at the restaurant. My last post got locked(?), no idea why so I’m updating here.
I arrived at the restaurant with him and he tried to hug me outside, I told him I needed to talk to him inside and he kept asking me what about and I kept telling him I’d prefer to get inside and sit down to talk to him. We got inside and sat down, he wouldn’t stop apologizing, it’ll never happen again, been stressed, he loves me more than anything etc. He wouldn’t let me get a word in for a while until I eventually said to him if he wasn’t going to listen to me I would leave right now, that got his attention.
I said something along the lines of this, can’t remember the exact wording but this is pretty much it.
“Harry, I’m sorry that things have turned out this way I really am. Up until the other night I wanted nothing more than to marry and spend my life with you. But after what you did to Fluff I don’t think that can happen. You’ve hurt a poor defenseless animal that trusted and loved you, worse still, you showed no remorse for your actions and STILL haven’t apologized for hurting Fluff or even asked how Fluff was holding up. You disrespected and berated me for simply wanting to be treated like an equal partner in this relationship and not a maid and then you attacked our dog. I don’t think I could ever get over the things you said to me or the things you’ve done to Fluff and I think we should call it a day.”
Harry kept apologizing and started crying. I told him I was leaving and left my engagement ring on the table. I stood up from my chair and again it was like a switch had flipped, he told me he was going to kill himself if I left him, told me to sit down and work this out or I’ve killed him. When that didn’t work he threw his glass on the floor and began screaming at me in the middle of the restaurant. I don’t know what he said I was too shocked to even register, I started walking/running away from him. He got up and started to follow me until he was stopped by a waiter asking him to leave me alone or he’s been instructed to call the police.
My ex-fiance just looked between me and at the waiter for about ten seconds before storming off out of the restaurant. I broke down crying and the staff were very supportive and kind to me, they even walked me out to my car to make sure I got there safely. I got to my car and called my brother [Tom 22 M], I gave him a brief version of everything that happened and asked if he could stay the night at my place as Harry still has a key. He met up with me at the restaurant and drove me home and slept on my couch, he’s offered to stay until this mess has been sorted and has been just such a champ through this. Harry has been calling and texting non-stop. It’s been a mess of fluctuating between apologizing and crazy so I’ve decided to block his number until I have all his stuff packed for him to pick up.
Fluff has been acting strangely towards Tom ever since she was attacked to I’m considering bringing her to a pet behaviorist, does anyone have any good experience with them or am I just better taking her to the vet again? Thank you to everyone who offered advice, it’s really helped me through this.
tl;dr Broke it off, he exploded. Restaurant staff stepped in and brother is staying with me until this is sorted.
FINAL COMMENTS
iguanidae
Animal behaviorist here, can you describe how Fluff has been acting? If this doesn’t get a response I will PM.
Note: A vet works with medicine so they generally can’t discern specific behaviors nor are they equipped to train in abundance.
OOP
Fluff always been a pretty lazy dog but since my brother has been here she’s been very fidgety, frenetic playing with toys, sniffing and scratching. If my brother is in the room she’ll either move far away from him or out of the room entirely. The strangest thing by far though is my brother went to stroke her a couple hours ago and she started whining before moving away from him.
iguanidae
Fluff always been a pretty lazy dog but since my brother has been here she’s been very fidgety, frenetic playing with toys, sniffing and scratching.
She’s establishing her territory. It wasn’t compromised before and now it is because she is associating males with danger. The problem is she isn’t quite sure how to do so safely. Having your brother there is great for you, but she’s still in shock and traumatized. EDIT for clarity: Your dog doesn’t come off like a dominant dog based on your posts (cowering at your brother’s hand, for example) so it’s natural for her to not understand how to establish territory. The main point is she is scared and is shuffled into a role she cannot and was not meant to carry out.
Also, contrary to popular belief going overhand at a dog is threatening to it, even if your brother was going to stroke her. If you wish to interact with Fluff and show her your home is a safe environment, sit on the floor with her. Automatically this will make her feel safer because she doesn’t have someone towering above her. If you want to touch her, offer your hand- if she accepts stroke under her chin and lead that up to rubbing her face/top of her head, slowly. She needs to see where your limbs are going and she will trust slow, deliberate movements more than impulsive ones. It’s very important right now that she sees where your hands are going. Dogs may have 240 degree vision but she can’t associate the difference between a pat and a forceful hit if it’s coming from behind. Do not approach her from behind, if possible. Make sure she can see you. If you MUST approach her from behind, call out her name gently so she is aware of your presence.
I would like to note that in your original post, your dog bit your ex out of retaliation assuming that he “kicked” Fluff. I do not believe a single kick to the dog would make it act out so aggressively as to cause a wound that would make someone bleed profusely- especially if she has no history of aggressive behavior. What I mean is, your ex did something incredibly malicious to her with intent to the point where she needed to attack for her life. I’ve tripped over many dogs in my day which spooks them a bit but it doesn’t lead to violence. If I had to guess, he probably tried choking/manhandling her.
Please, if you have any more questions or need clarification I will be happy to help you.
Source
She describes him first as calm. Level-headed. Not a monster. That detail matters because it shows how intact her trust still was when the imbalance at home began to stretch. She worked nine to five, walked three miles back, walked the dog again, cleaned, cooked. If the house wasn’t immaculate, he went quiet. Huffy. He would ignore her. Ignore the dog.
No speech about power. Just that routine.
Then the argument. Then the yelp.
She runs in. The dog is in the corner, mouth bleeding. He has a gash on his leg. He says the dog attacked him. After pressure, he admits he kicked her. The scene is physical and brief. The dog cowers. He is bleeding. The room is loud.
For a moment, it could still be framed as a snap stress cresting and breaking. But the direction of the escalation matters. Insults follow quickly. Lazy. Stupid. Then the condition: if he comes back, the dog goes. Then the message that she would be nothing without him.
At the restaurant he apologizes without pause, barely letting her speak. When she leaves the ring on the table and stands up, he cries. Seconds later, he threatens to kill himself. He throws a glass. Staff intervene. The shift is abrupt, almost mechanical. Pleading, then fury. The distance between those two states is short.
Later that night, her phone lights up again and again. Apologies. Accusations. More apologies. The dog avoids her brother’s hand and whines before moving away.
Some conflicts erode slowly. This one fractures. Whether that fracture reveals something long built beneath the surface, or something that formed under pressure, is the part that doesn’t settle neatly.