Featured on @StorylineReddit: November 10, 2025
He leaves the house for three days. Smashes his phone. Walks the city without much direction while her calls stack up somewhere he can’t hear them.
When he finally comes back, she freezes in the doorway. Then she breaks.
This isn’t only a fertility story. It’s about a future that had already been furnished in detail four or five kids, a stable rhythm, something solid and expanding. Then one conversation rearranges everything. A medical reality that existed before the marriage surfaces years into it.
The first emotion isn’t rage. It’s blankness. Autopilot. He can’t quite hate her. She can’t stop apologizing.
Underneath the shock sits something more delicate: one partner built hope on incomplete information; the other built silence around fear. The rupture is factual. The attachment is still there. What that combination produces isn’t simple, and it isn’t finished.
On the surface, this is about infertility. Structurally, it’s about disclosure.
He entered the marriage having clearly stated he wanted a large family. She agreed. After a year of trying without success, he learns she had been told as a teenager that natural pregnancy was extremely unlikely due to surgical complications. The probability itself is painful; the concealment is destabilizing.
The update complicates the picture. Her surgery at sixteen led to debt, escalating abuse at home, and years of being told she had ruined her father’s life. She never pursued follow-up care. She hoped circumstances might defy medical odds. He experiences the omission as a breach in the foundation of the life they constructed together.
What follows isn’t a clean break. He leaves. Returns. Asks for space. Brings her home again. They are coexisting, not resolved.
The immediate tension has shifted. It’s no longer only about whether children are possible. It’s about whether a shared future can be rebuilt after the ground underneath it changes.
Text Version
My wife (24F) hid that she can’t have kids and I (27M) just found out after 6 years together. I don’t know what to do.
ONGOING
I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Busy_Top6281
Originally posted to r/Marriage
My wife (24F) hid that she can’t have kids and I (27M) just found out after 6 years together. I don’t know what to do.
Editor’s note: made small edits for ease of readability
Trigger Warnings: medical issues, child abandonment, mentions of abuse and alcoholism, death of a loved one, trauma
Original Post: October 18, 2025
me and wife have been together for 6 years and married for 3. Weve built a happy marriage and a stable and comfortable life. Once everything felt settled, we decided to start a family. From the very beginning, I was clear about wanting a big family, 4 or 5 kids, and she always said she was on board.
After a year of trying with no success, I got myself checked, and everything came back fine. That’s when she sat me down for a serious talk. She finally told me that before we got together, she had a medical procedure due to some health issues, and she’s known this entire time that her chances of getting pregnant were negligible.
I just went numb. Everything after that felt like a blur. She broke down crying and apologized over and over. I couldn’t process it, I just left despite her begging me to stay and talk.
Its been 3 days. I’ve just been drifting around the city and staying with my sister. After non stop barrage of calls and messages from my wife, I snapped and destroyed my phone to get some peace. So no contact for 3 days. My sister went to our place to grab some work stuff for me and said my wife is completely shattered. She kept begging my sister to convince me to come home and talk to her.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know what hurts more, her hiding it from me all these years, letting me believe we had a real chance, or the fact that I still can’t bring myself to hate her. My mind keeps spiraling and I don’t feel ready to face her or talk about it. I just feel lost.
What should I do?
Relevant / Top Comments
Commenter 1: Just go your separate ways. You are both still young. You have plenty of time to have your big family and she will find someone else.
OOP: I really loved her. i feel like my head going to explode with all the thougths
Commenter 2: She says the chances of getting pregnant are negligible – has she been checked recently – medical advances happen regually. Has she ever had a second opinion. Ir was she just told pregnancy is unlikely.
Does she want kids or is IVF a possibility. Adoption.
The fact she hid this is atrocious.
But you need to talk to her.
If you want kids and she doesn’t or can’t, then this marriage is over.
OOP: as i said i havent even get to the bottom of this, once the truth hit me, i was like on auto pilot , didnt hear anything. i believe i should talk with her but my mind keeps questioning
Commenter 3: It’s one thing if she just found this out after all this time of trying. But to hide something like that from you, knowing that you wanted a family and she hid that VERY important information from you…I don’t blame you for feeling lost one bit. You said you made it known from the beginning and she basically said “oh ok whatever, marry me anyway.”
I don’t know what you should do. If wanting a family is that high up your priority list, then you have some decisions to make and you know what you likely have to do here.
Update: October 27, 2025 (nine days later)
UPDATE: My wife (24F) hid that she cant have kids and I (27M) just found out after 6 years together. I don’t know what to do.
I posted the 1st one from my laptop while working, just venting everything I felt in the moment. I think it came off one-sided, so I want to give more context and clear up a few things people kept asking. Sorry if this isnt super coherent.
Some context about her I already knew, shes an only child. Her family lived paycheck to paycheck. Her mom left when she was 13, and her dad raised her alone. He later turned alcoholic and abusive. When we met around 18, she already had anxiety, abandonment and trust issues. Her dad died when she was 19. Early in our relationship, I helped her get some therapy however I could, and she leaned on me for everything. After her dad passed, I moved her in, and my family became hers.
A lot of you told me to face it, and my mom also called, saying the same. So the next morning, I went home. She was a mess, and the house too. When she saw me, she just froze for a second, then broke down and came to me crying and apologizing. I got her to sit down and calm, made something for us, and we finally talked.
The part she’d hidden, when she was 16, she had surgery to remove a cyst in her ovary. There were complications that caused internal scarring, and Drs told her a toned-down version of natural pregnancy was extremely unlikely. That surgery put her dad into debt, later he spiraled into alcohol, stopped coming home, blamed her for being damaged goods like her mom, always f*cking up his life, and started harassing her. That messed her up.
She never had a check-up after that. Before we met, she was broke and barely coping with everything. After we got together, she said she didnt have the courage to find out more, scared of what she might hear, and terrified of losing me if I found out. She hoped for a miracle after reading stories of women getting pregnant despite similar issues. Everything fell apart when I brought up getting checked. (I got myself checked secretly, just to be sure, so I wouldn’t stress her unnecessarily.)
Upon hearing her out, I lost my cool and went off on her for hiding something so serious. I told her I needed space and asked her to stay with my parents for a while so I could think clearly. She broke down, begged me not to leave, said shed do anything to make it work. I dropped her to my parent’s place.
By day two, I realized I genuinely missed her. The house felt empty without her. I brought her back home. What she did hurt me deeply, but I realised, couldnt just throw her away like some of you said, because I still love her. We’re not talking much right now. Im still processing it all, taking one step at a time. Many pointed out that if she hid something this serious, she could be hiding more, honestly that makes me uneasy.
Relevant / Top Comments
Commenter 1: I was one on those who said if she is hiding this then what else is the hiding. But, this added information adds that she has massive trauma and now I understand where she had secret hopes instead of just addressing this.
Get her to a specialist. Her body might carry a child, with some medical intervention. Also, she needs intense and regular counseling about her family. Her dad dying of alcoholism is not her fault.
If she does the emotional work and is open with you about everything from now on, you might get through this, and be a stronger couple.
OOP: I am thinking about getting counciling as everyone mentioned 1st and then explore options with specialist on fertility. Is this the right approach.
Commenter 2: Here’s the honest truth: women who go through significant trauma at the hands of their parents can “escape’ into marriage young to try and feel safe. Sometimes it works, but sometimes it is just a trauma bomb waiting to explode.
She had a lot of unprocessed grief and trauma that a healthy person would have dealt with before getting married.
So: it’s not you, and it’s kinda not even her. But she needs serious, deep therapy. If you love her help her get that.
I’m not a doctor, but she may have eggs that can be harvested. BUT she needs to deal with the trauma first.
You sound like a good man. Even if you end up separating, just know that she came to you as a safe space after years of abuse.
OOP: Currently not thinking about seperation. I am more hurt on lying part. I want to talk heart to heart with her. Everybody here , is rushing me to do things but i am literally walking on eggshells right now
Commenter 3: I’m going to get blasted for this but… what a tragedy; my heart breaks for her.
1.) Her original trauma taught her that she was disposable, damaged, if she admits this she’ll be abandoned and unlovable.
2.) So she spent years hiding this trauma from him, certain that being honest wasn’t safe, that he would never love her if he knew.
3.) When the truth finally came out, his reaction, while understandable because of his own trauma and devastation, proved her deepest fears and her clear understanding of the world, of her self: he got furious, he left, he cut her off. A mirror of her father’s (albeit slower) reaction.
4.) Now he brought her back, and they’ll rebuild the marriage slowly, but she’ll ALWAYS know: I’m disposable. I’m broken. I’m unlovable and it’s only by a miracle that he still wants me, now I can NEVER fail again or be damaged or he’ll leave for good. (If anything, he’s taught her to hide things better, because it’s not safe to be honest).
It’s bad and rough all around, but… what could have been… a come-together moment, a chance to put aside his anger and hurt and show her that no matter what she’s loved and will never be abandoned… now will just never happen. It just breaks my heart. I get that this was huge, I get that his reaction was perfectly normal. But it tragically will destroy her even further. And that breaks my heart.
OOP: Thanks for this pov. I haven’t thought this way. I will help her
Commenter 4: How strange that you “dropped her off at your parents”.. if you wanted a break you should have left. You have displaced her once again.. just an odd move.
Commenter 5: I think I understand. He had been gone and she was a wreck and the house a mess. If he left again she would continue to spiral. He took her to family that can hopefully support her and stabilize her. And the fact he is home in the house should give her some comfort. At first it didn’t make sense to me but after a second read, that was my take.
OOP: Exactly. My mind was going through so many questions, and not in a clear space. I wanted her to be in a place where she can feel safe and taken care of while i can have peace.
Commenter 6: I think she’s never brought it up because of the trauma it caused her. She probably blames herself for her dad’s alcoholism and death from what he’s said to her.
You’re right to be angry, but I think that once you’ve cooled down you should really look at the WHY, because that’s some serious shit and while I’d be pissed it would give me some clarity
Edit to add: it sounds like she was also in denial and acknowledging it makes all her trauma that much more real. Like maybe she thought that if she COULD get pregnant then all the stuff with her dad after the surgery would have (sort of?) been worth it if it meant carrying her own children.
It’s sad all around and I hope OP doesn’t give up on her
Latest Update here: BoRU #2
Source
When he walks back into the house, it’s disordered. She looks like she hasn’t slept. He makes something simple to eat. They sit at the table. She explains the surgery, the scarring, the debt, the father who called her damaged.
There’s an escalation here that doesn’t require interpretation: the confession, his departure, three days of silence, the confrontation, the temporary move to his parents’ house, the return. The sequence stands on its own.
What fractures isn’t just the possibility of biological children. It’s the narrative he believed they were living inside. He saw himself moving steadily toward fatherhood; that trajectory felt agreed upon. She saw herself as someone who could not risk being left again. Those two internal positions don’t collide loudly at first. They grind.
Midway through the update, something unsettled but unmistakable surfaces: he misses her. The house feels wrong without her. Anger remains, but it shares space with attachment. That coexistence complicates everything.
And then, almost abruptly, another thought enters: if this was hidden, what else might be? The question isn’t shouted. It just lingers.
She says she hoped for a miracle. Not a strategy hope. He describes walking on eggshells. She tries not to unravel again.
They are under the same roof. They aren’t speaking much. No dramatic declarations, no final decisions. Just careful movement around a fracture that hasn’t been named out loud.
