Featured on @StorylineReddit: December 1, 2025
The wall nearly caught fire. The washer outlet burned through drywall. The kids cried when the dog was driven away to somewhere “safe.” That’s the starting point — not ideology, not accusation. Just a damaged wall and a temporary plan.
Then it shifts.
A relative of an ex sees the dog and asks to keep her. The husband considers it. The wife learns in fragments a “deal,” a vague message, an accusation she doesn’t understand. What could have stayed a short-term boarding decision starts to feel less temporary, less shared.
It’s tempting to flatten this into a fight about pet ownership. It isn’t that simple. Something about who gets to decide what leaves the house and how begins to press against the surface.
The dog sleeps in the children’s room at night.
The conflict begins with a practical problem: an electrical hazard forces the family to temporarily relocate their young dog. Boarding with the husband’s ex-wife is framed as a familiar and safe solution. Both partners appear aligned at that stage.
The fracture forms when a third party expresses interest in keeping the dog permanently, and the husband seems open to negotiating that outcome. The tension escalates not only because of the possibility of rehoming, but because the process unfolds indirectly. The wife receives partial information. A “deal” is referenced. Clarifying questions are met with deflection and accusation. Phone calls go unanswered.
From there, the situation narrows into verification and retrieval. The wife secures proof the dog is still where she was told. She arranges alternative housing. The dog is ultimately brought back.
The practical crisis resolves. The interpersonal one remains less defined. No apology is offered. The incident is treated as if it were an overreaction rather than a rupture in how decisions were handled.
Text Version
AITAH for threatening my marriage over a dog?
INCONCLUSIVE
I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/CobblerRecent6797 (account now deleted)
Originally posted to r/AITAH
AITAH for threatening my marriage over a dog?
Thanks to u/SloshingSloth, u/queenlegolas, & u/soayherder for suggesting this BoRU
Editor’s note: made small edits for ease of readability
Trigger Warnings: emotional manipulation, property damage, possible animal abuse, petnapping, possible psychological abuse, controlling behavior
Mood Spoilers: infuriating, enraging
Editor’s note: the original body text was saved before OOP made the same edits to both original and update posts
Original Post: November 16, 2025
Long and short, we recently had some electrical issues that nearly caused a house fire. We are waiting for a contractor to come and look at it and fix the problem (the wall that got fried is where the washer plugs in, so it’s pretty important.)
My husband found boarding for our 12-month pointer ….with his ex wife. Not a major issue, our dogs get along and at least she will watch her and she’ll be relatively safe.
I agreed to this so I’m not mad about that part. Although I am mad we moved her so soon without a timeline for repairs and there was a ton of tears from the kids. We both work, so an unsupervised pup with strangers or an open wall is not gonna work.
What I am mad about…is apparently his former sister in law saw the dog and fell in love with her…and asked to have her…. Just like that. So entitled. He’s considering giving away my dog so he doesn’t have to “deal with her”.
I walk and feed her along with the help of the kids and trained her. She is an intelligent and clever dog and the kids love her. My 1yr old says “woof-woof” for dog, almost as much as he says “mom”. We are all she has know. She’s a rescue and we got her 5 months. I am outraged he would just betray me and the children and go behind our backs because he doesn’t want a dog.
She’s a gun dog and due to start training with me since it’s deer season and the kids love her and she runs with my oldest.
I don’t have a full means of getting a hold of his ex, we rarely talk but use social media now that she’s hosting my dog, I even paid her and offered up any extra food or toys. So I’m just kind of in the dark and waiting right now
AITAH for threats to leave him if he does something so underhanded and gives away the family dog without consulting me or the kids?
AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was NTA
Relevant Comments
Commenter 1: NTA, and wtf is wrong with your husband and his ex SIL? I mean, what type of person just asks for someone else’s pet? Is she deranged?? And the fact that your husband is so willing to just hand it over is throwing up massive red flags about him. He sounds deranged too!
OOP: My sister says “it’s just a dog” and I’m taking it too far. But my house is all she has ever known and she is very much loved and wanted, I just didn’t wanted her in a kennel and my husband has a 15 yr old with his ex so the dog is with familiar company and getting hugs so I’m happy there. But the entitlement to be like “I want it” has just floored me. This issue caused a fight last night and I have to wait to get a hold of the landlord to get an updated timeline on repairs to squash this.
Commenter 2:
what type of person just asks for someone else’s pet? Is she deranged?
My money says that he expressed not wanting/liking the dog to which she offered to take the dog. Perfectly reasonable on her part, really. But at that point he realizes that he’s got a wife/kids who may not be keen on him giving the dog away… He’s between a rock and a solution (from his perspective).
OOP: That’s possible. On our end he was excited to get the dog (like, little kid on Christmas morning excited.) and we talked about it for over a month, walked the shelter, met her, talked it over for another week, did a rent-a-rover –so didn’t just suddenly go get a dog.
We picked specifically. Brought her home, gave her a name. I mean this dog tolerated a toddler shoving his finger in her nose and just turns the other cheek, then gives him lovings and all is well. She guards the kids room at night and they take pride in tending to her. The rest of the family is not on the same pages as him.
Commenter 3: Had he ever owned dogs before? More to the point…. A lot of folks who’ve never owned dogs before get giddy over the idea, but then reality hits and they find out it wasn’t quite what they had in mind. Mind you, I’m not asking about the dog or the family as a whole; I’m asking about him.
OOP: He’s had (outdoor) cats and rodents (rats) as a kid
Commenter 4: He is considering hurting not only you but your children as well. Actually the dog itself would a victim. It is very difficult for a pet to be handed around to different households. Secondary issues include the fact that you don’t know this person and have no way to determine if they have the capacity to take care of the dog or if they might even get tired of having a pet and try to give it away themselves. NTA.
OOP: Right?? Should we just hand off the kids if they have a bad day? Wth And I’m 90% sure she’d just be let loose in the country to join a pack a feral dogs. And my girl is too good and soft for that. She’ll protect her kids but she wouldn’t know what to do in a real fight. She sleeps in the kids room and night and misses them after an hour apart. (And they miss her too)
Commenter 5: NTA, that is YOUR dog, and you should get it back at some point. This is totally a good reason to leave.
OOP: My husband claims I’m being unreasonable and even wanted me to surrender her, before his ex-wife agreed to keep her. Not only that but I paid out of my own pocket here not family funds. Nothing wrong with kennels, I’d just rather her be some place familiar with at least one familiar face and a dog she has history with.
Commenter 7: This is such weird behavior…has he ever done anything this weird before? Given away something important to you or sabotaged you in any way? Is this completely out of the blue? It feels like something else is going on or there has to be something more to the story.
OOP: This would not be the first time something this drastic has happened…from rehoming a house cat to disabling my career opportunity…
Editor’s note: the update body text was saved before OOP made the same edits to both original and update posts
Update: November 16, 2025 (sane day, three hours later)
Update: AITAH for threatening my marriage over a dog?
I literally just got the most cryptic message from my husband (me and kids are not home right now, we are visiting a relative for dinner). He said: “I tried to work a deal but b***h wants play around”
Me: huh?
Him: huh
Me: I didn’t understand your message
Him: apparently she wants to keep the dog forever
I asked what happened and asked if it had anything to do with his daughter (my stepdaughter). He told me to stop being a bad person and said I was jealous of a child and won’t answer my phone calls. I’m trying to discreetly get in touch with him and his ex and my stepdaughter but my husband won’t answer my calls.
I’m honestly suspecting the dogs been moved without my knowledge.
Update #1: I got some cryptic messages from my husband, some weird things were said. A fight ensued and I believe he gave his ex permission to have my dog (about 3hrs ago)
I got a hold of his ex and had her send me a video (the time of day matched) so I’m a bit more calm. I notified her that I’d be over tomorrow, I’m trying to avoid conflict plus give her the chance to set things right. I also informed her that I will call the police if need be (I honestly already got a hold of them and they were no help for various reasons so it might become a civil matter). She’s been informed to not even walk her and keep her in the designated area until I arrive. (I’m trying to keep the kids out of this and plan to do all this while they go to school)
I got a hold of a few friends and have a family of fellow hunters willing to house her for free upon hearing the story and for as long as we need. She knows the family but not their dog, but I’m hopeful it’ll go well.
As for my husband he is denying everything and takes no fault in this. I’ve decided to stay at my parents tonight and informed him that we will have a talk about this and however that talk goes will decide what comes next for us moving forward.
Also he is on her adoption record but I am listed on everything else
Update #2: (Monday) Dog was retrieved! She was very happy very clingy, apparently it was stressful all around. Took dog and kids to my parents for a few days. The family that agreed to help is meeting us this weekend for camping and the hand off. Kinda sucks the reunion is so short (kids have school) but we will be spending Thanksgiving with them and home repairs are projected to be complete the following week.
My husband seems unhappy about the fights we had, with no apology in sight or explanation. He’s acting like this never happened.
Also for those asking, yes the dog is rather expensive, not a mutt, so legally this could have been a theft punishable by big fines or jail time . Also her monetary value is of zero importance to me. But for you few who are saying it’s “just a dog”, imagine if your spouse took a couple thousand dollars from your joint account or your car or Xbox or jewelry and just gave it to some stranger. Would you be mad then? And I am on all her paperwork.
Relevant Comments
Commenter 1: Why didn’t you get your house cat back when it happened the first time?
OOP: Okay so now we’re asking the real questions here.
Point blank, I was young (24), dumb, newly married, didn’t have kids yet, and allowed him in the end to have things his way due to “allergies “. So what he sneezed a bit. My cat was 16, totally an indoor cat and I had her her entire life, like literally her mother dropped her on my feet less than an hour after she was born.
But I gave in after a lot of me yelling at a wall…I justified it by meeting the family and their kids…and she eventually ran off to die…so I never saw her again or even recovered her body. I cry over this still sometimes… But you know, to him it’s just a cat.
So yes I blatantly overlooked this red flag to try and keep the peace in a new marriage and listened to what idiots told me.
Editor’s note: marking this inconclusive because OOP has deleted their account
Source
At first, the escalation is quiet.
A boarded dog. A casual request from someone adjacent to the family. A husband entertaining the idea that it might be easier not to “deal with her.” The volume is low. The implications are not.
The wife’s response stays grounded in logistics. She pays for the boarding herself. She asks for a time-stamped video. She contacts friends. She arranges a temporary home with hunters who know the breed. She plans to retrieve the dog while the children are at school.
“I tried to work a deal.”
“Huh?”
“She wants to keep the dog forever.”
“Stop being a bad person.”
He refuses her calls.
That exchange stands there.
From his perspective, it’s possible the dog felt larger than anticipated a high-energy hunting breed in a home already managing toddlers and electrical repairs. Maybe an off-ramp appeared and he took it. Maybe he thought he was solving a problem before it became a longer one. That possibility exists.
But the sequence matters. The side negotiation. The accusation. The denial afterward.
Midway through the conflict, something steadier comes into focus: decisions about what belongs to the family were being floated elsewhere before they were discussed at home. That idea surfaces once and doesn’t need repetition.
The earlier story about the cat young marriage, allergies, a rehoming that never quite healed enters almost sideways. It isn’t unpacked. It just sits there, adjacent to the present.
The dog is retrieved. She is described as clingy. The children are relieved. Temporary arrangements are made. Repairs will be completed next week.
The husband seems unhappy about the fight. He offers no explanation. He moves forward as if nothing significant happened.
Some conflicts close with resolution. Others close with routine.