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Twelve coworkers. Beer pong. Pool cues against the wall. One woman in the room.
It reads like an ordinary off-duty gathering right up until it doesn’t. The shift is small. A phone is checked. A complaint surfaces, not about noise or spilled drinks, but about a bathroom camera that had been turned the wrong way. The plan, apparently, failed.
What follows isn’t shouting. No one flips a table. There’s no dramatic exit. Just a pause that stretches longer than it should. Neutral expressions. A few glances. Someone shrugs. Conversation drifts.
The conflict doesn’t announce itself with volume. It settles into the space between people. In who speaks. In who doesn’t. In how quickly something invasive can be treated as a passing inconvenience.
And then the night keeps moving.
This story centers less on exposure and more on what responsibility feels like in the hours after a line has been crossed. A coworker realizes that a gathering among colleagues included a deliberate attempt to secretly film a female colleague in a bathroom. The attempt fails only by accident another guest notices and turns the camera away. The host’s reaction is irritation, not regret.
From there, the tension shifts inward. The narrator weighs his options within a tight professional ecosystem: remain silent and protect his own standing, warn the woman directly, escalate formally, or attempt anonymity. Workplace hierarchy complicates each route. Trust in leadership is uncertain. The social circle is small.
Once he acts informing her, contacting authorities the matter becomes procedural. Statements are taken. Supervisors are notified. The suspect is removed from duties and investigated.
On paper, the situation moves toward accountability. What lingers is something less procedural: the fact that most people in the room were prepared to let the moment pass. That detail remains.
Text Version
Co-worker attempted to film female co-worker in restroom at party
CONCLUDED
I am not The OOP, OOP is u/IndistinguishableSus
Co-worker attempted to film female co-worker in restroom at party
Originally posted to r/legaladvice
TRIGGER WARNING: Sexual harassment, invasion of privacy
MOOD SPOILER: positive
Original Post Dec 13, 2017
Last night I went to a house party with the crew that I work with. We’re in the US Navy stationed in SC. I recently came back to crew after a few months away in a different department at the command we are all attached to.
The party was attended by about 12 men and one woman, ages ranging from low twenties to upwards of 32 (myself). We played beer pong and pool.
She eventually left a few hours into the party. After she left, the host, who I do not know very well because he recently reported to the command, started talking about how much he wants to fuck her. That’s fine and I don’t judge him for wanting to get laid. The problem is that a few minutes later, he checks his phone and is pissed that the camera he had set up in the restroom was turned around.
Apparently he had set it up in there in hopes to get video of her with her pants down. One other party goer, a friend I’ve known for several years, had seen it and turned it around so it wouldn’t face him. It was just chance that he saw it first before our female co-worker used the restroom. The host is pissed that his plan failed. At this point, I’m kicking myself for not saying anything at the time. I personally think it’s sick and twisted for him to do this. All other guys acted neutral. They neither egged him on nor voiced their disapproval. I left soon after this occurred.
The entire day I’ve been wracked with indecision. I don’t know the best way to proceed. The way I see it my choices are:
*Do nothing (Unacceptable IMO. He’s bound to do this again.)
*Tell the victim directly (This warns her of his nature and she can file a report if she chooses to.)
*Make an anonymous tip.
*File a formal report.
I know that anything I do will probably affect me in some way. There were only so many people at the party. I’m relatively new and don’t know most of them very well. That is not to say it will stop me from doing to right thing. I don’t want her to get hurt, and I don’t want him to continue his sick practices.
I fully realize that I and many others at the party were likely victims of voyeurism (sexual assault?) as well. I know I went to the restroom before my friend did, so I most likely was picked up on video. That is a path possibly worth pursuing, but I am more concerned about the female co-worker.
TL;DR: Went to party with co-workers. Host put camera in restroom to record female we work with. Camera was turned around by another guy, plan failed. Host was pissed. Not sure how to continue.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
leeeeroyyyy_jenkinns
You already know full well that the correct thing to do here is to report it. If for no other reason than if you do NOT, and someone else does, you will be held accountable under the UCMJ. Go to your command, your Chief , your CMEO or your SAVI. And go before someone else does and you go down, too.
OOP
In a perfect world, I’d go to my chief and trust it would be handled appropriately. But unfortunately I don’t trust my COC. The SARC directed me to contact NCIS directly in the morning, which is what I’m going to do.
SirKrotchKickington
me and my wife have been dealing with NCIS for the past few months due to an incident related to your post, and i can say that they are damn good at what they do and they will take this seriously, please contact them as soon as possible.
~
NimmyFarts
I second /u/leeeeroyyyy_jenkinns with knowing full well what the right thing to do is now, and I encourage you to stand up for her and other women he has/will do this to (people don’t just spontaneously do this).
I’d recommend giong through your CMEO or just someone in your chain you trust. Small note with SAPR, is you might not have the same sort of confidentiality that a Victim would with Restricted reporting. I’ve been a VA for several years and I’ve not encountered a situation like this.
OOP
I was a SAPR VA at my last command. The SARC said it does not fall under her area since no sexual assault occurred, but it definitely is criminal. I’m going to contact NCIS in the morning, per her suggestion.
UPDATE: I called the SARC (Sexual Assault Response Coordinator) for the base. She said the best avenue would be to contact the command, who would then contact NCIS, or to contact NCIS directly. She said to do either in the morning. I’m going to contact NCIS directly and go from there. Thanks for the responses.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
evergreener_328
Thank you for standing up and doing the right thing. I’m sure it wasn’t easy to call SARC, nor will it be easy to talk to NCIS or command about this-but you’re doing the best thing. The rates of sexual assault for women serving in the military is devastatingly high-working at the VA, all of my female veterans had histories of sexual assault while serving and were attacked by other service members or higher ups. This post gives me a lot of hope that things are changing and I hope more service members are like you. Thank you for serving and thank you for doing this. It really really does mean a lot!!
OOP
I posted a reply, if you care to look. Thank you for your comment, it means a lot. I was really conflicted with how to report this. There wasn’t really a question about whether I should or not, just how. In the end, NCIS and the chain of command was informed and the suspect is no longer working with us. He most likely has had his security clearance temporarily revoked while under investigation. Hopefully he’ll never be able to do this type of thing again.
It saddens me that every other guy at the party was going to let this go. I just couldn’t do that. She has resources to help deal with this, and thankfully it seems he didn’t get what he wanted.
Update 1 Dec 17, 2017 (4 days later)
So it’s been a few days and a lot has happened. As I said in the previous post, I called the SARC and she directed me to get in touch with NCIS. For whatever reason, they never answered their damn ‘on-call duty agent phone’ that day.
I had to go into work, and it was really fucking difficult working next to the guy that night. I ran through a dozen different ways to tell the right people in my head, but circumstances made me wait. About halfway through our shift I was able to tell the victim in a private setting. She was obviously very upset, then I immediately went and told our superior officer of our crew. He agreed to take care of it. I finished the shift without seeing the victim (my female co-worker) again.
I left work and immediately drove to the NCIS office on base. The agent there was awesome. We went through all of the details and I started writing out my statement. While doing so, my officer in charge called me to get details so he could pass it up the chain. I told him that I was already at NCIS and he was pleased. He thanked me for coming forward and ensuring our co-worker would be protected. By the time I finished writing my statement, the whole command was aware of the situation. I was pleased.
I already knew that the victim was going to get a night off. What I didn’t know is that the suspect (host of the party) would no longer be with us anymore as well. The official explanation was “trouble with his security clearance.” This is speculation, but I think while investigating the camera aspect of this, they found evidence of him using illegal betting services. The government doesn’t take that shit lightly, especially if you have a security clearance. I think this because the same day he wasn’t at work, they warned the staff that if you use illegal betting services (a bookie), to stop.
That’s it. He’s under investigation and I remained anonymous. My officer knows, but I trust him. I was on the same ship with him for years. He’s a great guy. Now hopefully he will never be able to hurt someone like this again. Thanks for the great advice, even though I knew generally what to do in the first place. Sometimes it’s just good to get some validation on my thought process.
TL;DR: Host of party removed from staff duties, is under investigation. Possibly caught using a bookie and will lose security clearance.
Final Update Aug 24, 2019 (Nearly 2 years later)
It’s been quite a while but we all love updates so I figured I’d close this saga up. Where we last left off, I had informed my female co-worker and an officer I trusted, then NCIS. The host of the party was absent from work the next day and I have not seen him since.
About four months ago, I was contacted by a legal representative working on the case, United States vs. [Defendant’s Name], which finally confirmed to me that it was going to court martial. He had to ask me questions to see if I was a reliable character witness, questioning if I had ever been arrested, been in legal trouble in the past, etc. He told me that if I didn’t hear from him in about a month, it means the defendant took a plea deal. Otherwise I would eventually testify against him in a court-martial.
It’s obviously been longer than that and I haven’t heard back from him. He told me I wouldn’t be privy to actual details of his punishment, so I don’t know if he is actually going to spend time in the brig. I imagine he wouldn’t be able to avoid it, but it all depends on his plea deal.
The victim eventually finished her time at this command and transferred to a ship. She’s married now. A few weeks after the incident, I asked if she wanted to grab a cup of coffee outside of work to discuss what happened and she agreed, then it fell through. I just wanted to explain to her the difficult time I had, not in deciding whether or not to report, but how.
I just had a conversation with a group of people at work earlier today, and the defendant came up in conversation. It seems many people at work knew about it because of my original posting, but nobody suspects me. At this point it wouldn’t matter if they found out it was me. I have a clear conscious and I know I did the right thing. My only hesitation at the time was due to lack of trust in my chain of command. Thanks for all of the good advice and encouragement.
Source
The power in this story isn’t theatrical. It’s quiet and practical. The host controls the space. He decides where the camera sits. He checks his phone later and realizes it has been turned around. He says he’s pissed that it didn’t work.
No one laughs. No one challenges him either.
That stillness is its own stage of escalation. Not louder, just denser.
The narrator leaves soon after. The next day he works beside the same man. There’s no confrontation across a desk, no accusation in the hallway. Just shared space and the awareness of what was said. He runs through options in his head while performing routine tasks. Report. Don’t report. Tell her first. Go up the chain. Avoid the chain.
He eventually tells her privately. She’s upset. He informs an officer he trusts. He drives to NCIS himself and writes out a statement while calls move up the hierarchy. By the end of the shift, the suspect is gone from their workspace.
It would be easy to center the narrative on courage. But the earlier scene keeps pulling attention back the neutral reactions, the absence of friction in the room. Twelve people, a statement about filming someone undressed, and the evening continues.
The system responds once activated. Clearances are reviewed. Investigations proceed. A possible plea deal follows. The official explanations are tidy.
What remains less tidy is the question of what would have happened if the camera hadn’t been noticed. Or if the irritation had been met with laughter instead of silence. The narrator says he has a clear conscience now. The party itself, though, lingers as an image: a table sticky with spilled beer, a phone in someone’s hand, a room that paused and then decided to keep going.