It starts in a place that looks ordinary: a father texting his daughter. The messages arrive casually, folded into everyday conversation. Comments about how she looks. About how she has “become a woman.” Questions that lean further in than they should.
The complication is not only what he says, but who he claims to be while saying it. A man who disappeared when she was a baby returns years later asking to be called father again. In the meantime, someone else has been doing the work school meetings, safety talks, late-night reassurance.
This story sits in that space between biological title and earned trust. It asks what happens when authority is asserted, but safety feels uncertain. And what a sixteen-year-old does when her body tells her something is wrong, even before she has the language for it.
Not every threat announces itself loudly.
A teenage girl, raised primarily by her older brother after their mother’s death, reconnects with her previously absent father when he re-enters their lives. At first, the renewed contact feels tentative but manageable. Over time, however, his communication shifts. Compliments about her appearance become more pointed. Questions grow increasingly intimate, crossing into territory she does not associate with parental concern.
The tension centers less on overt action and more on repeated boundary testing through text. She notices the pattern. She feels uneasy. The problem becomes whether to disrupt the fragile peace by telling her brother—who is both sibling and legal guardian especially since he has recently rebuilt a relationship with their father.
When she does disclose the messages, the situation escalates quickly. A confrontation follows. The father defends his status; the brother challenges it. The girl blocks contact.
The immediate outcome is decisive. The longer emotional implications remain quieter, less clearly defined.
Text Version
My [16F] father [59M] acts creepy towards me. Should I tell my brother [28M]? He is my guardian
CONCLUDED
I am not The OOP, OOP is u/fafrdr
My [16F] father [59M] acts creepy towards me. Should I tell my brother [28M]? He is my guardian.
TRIGGER WARNING: grooming, death of a parent, child abandonment
MOOD SPOILER: Gross but ends positive
Original Post Apr 5, 2016
My mother died of cancer when I was 7. At that time my father was nowhere to be found, he had left my mother when I was less than one years old. I grew up with my mom and older brother. When my mom died my brother became my guardian. He took good care of me and always made me feel safe and comfortable. He has been mother and father and brother for me at the same time.
Two years ago my father came back and asked to be a part of our lives again. He said that he’s changed and wants to make things right. He initially used to come around once a week for a few hours and it was nice. However recently in the past two months, he is acting creepy which makes me uncomfortable.
He texts me about my looks all the time. Tells me I look like a complete woman now. It makes me feel weird. Last week he asked me about my sex life which I’m not comfortable talking to him about it. He asked if I watch porn and if I do, what positions I like. I mean this is creepy right? I don’t like it. My brother talked to me about sex but it was about safety and consent and things like that. Never these details that my father asks.
I want him to stop these things, and that’s all he talks about. Honestly I want him to stay away from me I don’t like him, he gives me bad vibes. I know he’s my father but I don’t see him as family. He’s just another person to me, a creepy person that makes me uncomfortable.
Should I tell my brother about these things and ask him to keep my father away? He has a good relationship with my brother, they’ve become close in recent months.
tl;dr: My father is being creepy and I hate it. What should I do?
TOP COMMENTS
sleepfight
Tell your brother that your dad is making you feel uncomfortable. Tell him now.
IOVERCALLHISTIOCYTES
Show him the texts. You haven’t done anything wrong and are very brave to ask.
~
cathline
Please tell your brother.
(((Hugs)))
This is called grooming. Starting with small comments and building up to potential physical abuse.
You should be with your brother who can protect you.
And ask for a counselor. They can help you get the words to bring up the uncomfortable discussions.
I’m proud of you for realizing that this was not appropriate
You don’t have to continue to see your bio dad. It’s OK. Really.
I’m a mom and if you were my daughter, I would want you to cut contact with your bio dad
(((Hugs)))
Update Apr 8, 2016 (3 days later)
I told my brother everything and showed him all the texts as almost all of you told me to do so. He was shocked. For a few minutes I couldn’t say what he was thinking but after that he told me that I should have told him sooner, and that he will make sure our father never bothers us again. For a moment I thought he was upset at me but he was really furious at our father.
He asked our father to come over and told me to remain in my room until he leaves. They ended up having a big fight and they were loud which I could hear. Father was yelling that a parent has a right to raise his daughter as he sees fit, brother told him that he doesn’t even know how to spell the word parent. He eventually left. He sent me a text that “your brother is way over his head, don’t choose him over your own father”. I replied (with my brother’s permission) that “I’ll choose him over a thousand sperm donors like you. I don’t want to see you ever again”. And then I blocked his number.
I’m very happy that my brother did this. I feel much better and safer now. He’s always made me feel safe. When he has his own kids I’m sure he will be the most amazing father in the world as he has been one for me.
He said that he’ll also inform the police and school, and if my father tries anything I should tell him immediately to maybe look for some legal way to keep him away.
I just hope that my sperm donor of a father stays away from us forever.
tl;dr: I told my brother and he confronted our father and told him to stay away and never contact us again. I blocked his number and social media.
Source
There is something unsettling about how this unfolds through a phone screen. No dramatic setting. No isolated room. Just a string of messages, each one nudging the boundary a little further. First, remarks about her body. Then questions about her sex life. Then details about pornography and positions. The movement is incremental. The shift is gradual.
For a while, the escalation is simply there.
What complicates it is the claim layered on top: “A parent has a right to raise his daughter as he sees fit.” The argument isn’t only about behavior. It is about who gets to define the rules. He reaches for authority. The brother reaches for protection. Those two forces collide in a living room argument loud enough for her to hear from behind a closed door.
The brother’s role is unusual he is sibling and guardian, close in age but carrying responsibility that arrived too early. When he says she should have told him sooner, it lands for a second as disappointment before revealing itself as anger aimed elsewhere. His confrontation is not quiet. It is sharp, defensive, immediate.
And then there is her reply: “I’ll choose him over a thousand sperm donors like you.” She types it with permission. She blocks the number.
The practical steps are clear block, report, distance. What lingers is something less tidy. A biological parent asserting rights he never exercised. A teenager recognizing discomfort before naming it. A household rearranging itself around safety again.
The door closes. The texts stop. The future of that father-daughter relationship narrows to silence.
Some endings are firm in action and still unsettled in what they mean.
